Naughty Professor

I’m so pleased that I’m able to publish this novella on Kindle! This is the original version of one of the seven stories in Bedtime Erotica for Men. It’s longer than the version in the book and contains the gay sex scenes I edited out just before publishing the book. I thought it unlikely that gay men would read the book and all the straight men I asked said that they wouldn’t read the story in its original form. While some of them may have given me true responses (I’m almost sure that my boyfriend spoke the truth), I think that asking them face-to-face was not the best way to go about it. Straight men will not generally admit to reading gay erotica, unlike straight women who will not only admit to reading lesbian erotica but will let you know just how much it turned them on!

This is my preferred version, but I’m not sure what my fans will make of it. If anyone reads both versions please let me know if I did the right thing in not publishing this version in the book. I had hoped to publish it for free on Kindle, but Amazon allows only large publishers to publish free content. So, I have priced it at the lowest possible price of £0.86 on Amazon UK and $1.33 on Amazon US (both prices are inclusive of VAT).

Kindle

There have been several heated debates in Kindle forums about the pricing of eBooks. Some writers feel that they have worked too hard to sell their books below their true worth. Some claim that readers assume that eBooks priced at $2.99 and below are substandard. Some have even reported a drop in sales when they have lowered prices, yet others claim that they have sold significantly more at reduced prices and as a result have accrued greater royalties. It’s a debate that will rage on for a good while yet and I’m not sure that the outcome will be conclusive.

As a writer what I want most is for people to read and enjoy my writing. If pricing my eBooks at $2.99 gives me a larger readership then I’m happy! I’ve never been able to price my paperbacks at exactly the price I wanted due to printing, publishing and distribution costs – Kindle is the first chance I’ve had to do so. These prices won’t stay lowered forever, so if you are thinking of getting one of my books this might be the time to do so. And as always, please download a sample first as my raw writing style may not be to your taste.

Coming Out

When I completed my first romance manuscript in 2005 there was nothing I desired more than a contract with a publisher and to earn enough to write for a living. I thank God every day that my query letter and synopsis were rejected by the major publisher to whom I had sent them. I love the freedom that self-publishing has given me. And though, sadly, I have to still work for a living, I’m making enough to put towards a wonderful retirement even if I’m never able to become a full-time writer.

Using a pseudonym severely limits my marketing potential – most of my friends have no idea that I write much less than I have published books. I have toyed with the idea of ‘coming out’ and aggressively promoting my books, but the urge fades almost as soon as it surfaces. The main reason for staying anonymous is that I would like to reserve my true identity for the literary works I hope to write in future.

Cut / Uncut?...Shaven / Unshaven?

Do you like your man circumcised or not? Or your woman shaved or unshaved? What's your preference?

Lexy xxxx

Penis Size: Nothing but Inches?

I’ve just finished reading two contemporary romance novels by one of my favourite authors and in both books I was irritated by the hugeness of the hero’s appendage. It was like reading about inter-species mating: woman and horse! Both guys were ultra rich and ultra good-looking. I wouldn’t have minded if they were poor, good looking and well hung, or rich, ugly and well hung, but all three? Impossible! Okay, there are rumours that Will is very well hung (Jada, feel free to call me to confirm when you get a spare moment), so a man can have all three of these attributes, but surely this is rare.

I once dated a guy who was six-foot-one, good looking and though he wasn’t rich himself, he came from money. He was intelligent, well read, spoke three languages fluently and had a penis that was barely five inches when erect. I admit to feeling shocked and a trifle disappointed the first time he unleashed the ‘little’ monster, but once he got down to business his enthusiasm made up for the lack of inches. He was a big fan of hooking my legs around his broad shoulders to maximize his thrusts, so as an added benefit my body became very supple.

My current boyfriend is good looking, speaks only one language, reads mainly the sports pages and neither he or his daddy is rich. But he is very well hung. When I told him about my former boyfriend (omitting his name, of course) and how good he was in bed, small penis and all, he laughed as though I was telling him the biggest joke. He wasn’t in the least bit threatened. It would have been a different story if I had told him that my previous boyfriend had had a larger penis – that would have seriously messed with his mind.

But guys with large appendages laugh now because guys who are less endowed are likely to have the last laugh. As you get older, you well-hung guys, you will find that the flow of blood to your midsection required to bring you to full erection may leave you light headed and too dizzy to perform. On the other hand, guys with smaller penises will barely miss the smaller flow of blood and be able to fuck on well into their nineties.

So, three cheers for all the not-so-well-hung men out here! Keep doing your thing and doing it well. As soon as my boyfriend starts getting dizzy spells, I will drop him for one (or two) of you.

WORK WITH WHAT YOU HAVE!

Men are sometimes too worried about their penis size and women about their bodies and not having tight enough vaginas, but what they forget is that the people in bed in them choose to be there.

Women: a small penis can be an asset, so don’t dismiss a guy when he drops his pants and you think there isn’t enough to satisfy you. I nearly made that mistake once and I am so grateful I didn’t. The small-cocked guy turned out to be very, very enthusiastic in bed and more than made up for the lack of inches in other areas. Plus, because he didn’t make me sore we could go on for hours if we wanted to.

Men: the same rule applies to a woman who may not be as tight as she used to be due to age or childbearing. Don’t see this as something negative; see it instead as opportunity to go on for that much longer. Premature ejaculators, in particular, should relish this state of affairs, as it is a less hostile environment than a tight, grasping pussy.

At the end of the day, most of us just want to come. It is so much better when the trip is pleasurable but ultimately the destination (coming) is what we have in mind when we start the journey. So, work with what you have and work it well.

TO 'COME' OR TO 'CUM', THAT IS THE DILEMMA!

Many readers and writers are opposed to the use of the word ‘cum’ as a verb and it is a hotly debated subject. For me it is perfect for describing both the ejaculate and the act of ejaculation, although this is not strictly the correct usage.

The word ‘cumming’ precisely conveys my meaning to the reader without any ambiguity. Just the sight of the word fills me with deliciously naughty thoughts. ‘Coming’ does nothing for me - I use it only in my romance novels or when I have to submit a piece of ‘literary’ work.

While the debate rages on about the proper to use of the word, and since I have never been proper, I will ‘cum’ as and when I please!

Penis Envy.

I have a severe case of penis envy at the moment. I love a man’s penis when it is fully erect. I love its silky hardness, its tensile strength and its solid weight. I love its aerodynamic shape which glides through vaginal tissue like a hot knife through butter. I love the way it accelerates like a Ferrari from flaccid to erect, in seconds. I love the way it twitches and pulses on ejaculation.

It is a beautifully engineered piece of equipment. There is nothing in the world quite like it. A dildo, no matter how realistic, does not come close. One could argue that a dildo is always erect, therefore always ready for action, but where is the fun in that? It is the fact that erections are not a permanent state of affairs that make them so special.

If I had a penis I would take regular breaks while at the office to nip to the gents and stroke it into hardness. I would knit it woolly covers to keep it warm in the winter and let it hang out my fly to catch a tan in the summer. I would hang weights off it to strengthen it, and then do penis stands when it was strong enough to support my body weight.

I wish I had a penis…but not if it meant giving up my clit. Nothing is worth that sacrifice.

Sharing.

I never understand why two or more women share one man. If anything men should share a woman, especially a woman who has reached her sexual peak. I am less than two years away from mine and I am already seriously thinking of looking for a younger man for some threesome sex.

My boyfriend is getting on a bit since he hit his mid-thirties—not able to cum three, four times a night like he used to. He is also now too controlled for my liking. He mostly orgasms when he wants to, and not when I want him to. Years ago I had several tricks up my sleeve and could surprise him into cumming at my will; now he knows them all – even the thing I do with my vagina when I am on top.

I do not want to let him go—I love him too much. And a younger man would not have his particular expertise. I just need a boy toy, someone young enough for me to play my tricks on.
My boyfriend is the jealous sort and will not like another man in bed with us. But it is not as if I am asking him to sleep with the other man. I simply want my boyfriend’s expertise and a younger man’s enthusiasm; his supreme control and a younger man’s lack of control; his one or two orgasms and a younger man’s five or six.

Or they could just make a man sandwich with me in the middle as the filling.

Bedtime Erotica for Men

Mason’s impressive record of sexual conquests at the office is almost flawless, but he has to sleep with overweight Hailey to achieve the perfect score. Identical twins Sunflower and Daffodil are inseparable, they share everything, including men. Graham gives into temptation and samples a few of his barely legal students. Tariq is attracted to both his girlfriend Angel and his best friend Raymond, he doesn’t know if he is gay, bi-sexual or merely confused. Shawn has earned his nickname ‘The Dog’, there are very few women he considers off-limits, even his youthful great-aunt. Plagued by erotic equine dreams which make her horny, virginal Abigail allows Frank, the farmhand, to sate her rampaging desires. Sugar is every man’s nightmare, a woman who will give you one memorable taste of her sweetness and then move on.

Lexy Harper has tapped into her ‘inner man’ for these seven stories which make up the third book of her Bedtime Erotica series. They are written with men in mind but women will find them equally satisfying.