Saturday, 22 August 2009

Penis Envy.

I have a severe case of penis envy at the moment. I love a man’s penis when it is fully erect. I love its silky hardness, its tensile strength and its solid weight. I love its aerodynamic shape which glides through vaginal tissue like a hot knife through butter. I love the way it accelerates like a Ferrari from flaccid to erect, in seconds. I love the way it twitches and pulses on ejaculation.

It is a beautifully engineered piece of equipment. There is nothing in the world quite like it. A dildo, no matter how realistic, does not come close. One could argue that a dildo is always erect, therefore always ready for action, but where is the fun in that? It is the fact that erections are not a permanent state of affairs that make them so special.

If I had a penis I would take regular breaks while at the office to nip to the gents and stroke it into hardness. I would knit it woolly covers to keep it warm in the winter and let it hang out my fly to catch a tan in the summer. I would hang weights off it to strengthen it, and then do penis stands when it was strong enough to support my body weight.

I wish I had a penis…but not if it meant giving up my clit. Nothing is worth that sacrifice.

Friday, 21 August 2009


I never understand why two or more women share one man. If anything men should share a woman, especially a woman who has reached her sexual peak. I am less than two years away from mine and I am already seriously thinking of looking for a younger man for some threesome sex.

My boyfriend is getting on a bit since he hit his mid-thirties—not able to cum three, four times a night like he used to. He is also now too controlled for my liking. He mostly orgasms when he wants to, and not when I want him to. Years ago I had several tricks up my sleeve and could surprise him into cumming at my will; now he knows them all – even the thing I do with my vagina when I am on top.

I do not want to let him go—I love him too much. And a younger man would not have his particular expertise. I just need a boy toy, someone young enough for me to play my tricks on.
My boyfriend is the jealous sort and will not like another man in bed with us. But it is not as if I am asking him to sleep with the other man. I simply want my boyfriend’s expertise and a younger man’s enthusiasm; his supreme control and a younger man’s lack of control; his one or two orgasms and a younger man’s five or six.

Or they could just make a man sandwich with me in the middle as the filling.

Thursday, 1 January 2009

Bedtime Erotica for Men

Mason’s impressive record of sexual conquests at the office is almost flawless, but he has to sleep with overweight Hailey to achieve the perfect score. Identical twins Sunflower and Daffodil are inseparable, they share everything, including men. Graham gives into temptation and samples a few of his barely legal students. Tariq is attracted to both his girlfriend Angel and his best friend Raymond, he doesn’t know if he is gay, bi-sexual or merely confused. Shawn has earned his nickname ‘The Dog’, there are very few women he considers off-limits, even his youthful great-aunt. Plagued by erotic equine dreams which make her horny, virginal Abigail allows Frank, the farmhand, to sate her rampaging desires. Sugar is every man’s nightmare, a woman who will give you one memorable taste of her sweetness and then move on.

Lexy Harper has tapped into her ‘inner man’ for these seven stories which make up the third book of her Bedtime Erotica series. They are written with men in mind but women will find them equally satisfying.

Bedtime Erotica for Freaks (like me)

In Bedtime Erotica, Lexy Harper exposed her softer side and demonstrated her ability to write imaginative romantic erotica. Bedtime Erotica for Freaks (like me) verves off in a completely different direction. Lexy turns up the heat considerably, revealing her darker, freakier, unromantic side in these short stories. Seven women who follow their sexual destinies, taking pleasure where they find it - damn the consequences and everyone else! Vanessa lives out her sexual fantasies. Amanda gets the man she wants while in disguise. Geraldine hates being a prostitute but is very good at it. Indra’s job as a chatline operator gives her the opportunity to experience her fisting fantasy. Nectar takes the term ‘breast-feeding is best’ very literally. Antonia lives a completely hedonistic life. Samantha is bent on wrecking homes with her special friend The Home Wrecker.

Vanessa, Amanda, Geraldine, Indra, Nectar, Antonia, Samantha - VAGINAS. This book is all about pussy!

Bedtime Erotica

Valerie acts out her husband’s ultimate fantasy as a special birthday gift to him but neither realizes how dangerous it is to play with fire. Alyson’s twin fantasy is one small step away from becoming a reality; she just has to convince Darren that two heads are better than one. Tonya has always been daddy’s good little girl, when she discovers that he is a hypocrite, she follows her natural urges. Suzette’s curiosity gets the better of her and she finds herself totally mesmerized by Mackenzie’s seductive charms. Darleen is used to pussy-whipping young men into submission but she might have bitten off more than she can chew with Carl. Elizabeth is so sexually frustrated that she has resorted to using fruit and vegetables, unaware that her neighbour Jonathan is dying to give her a taste of the real thing. Emma’s husband has left her on the shelf, now Samuel, a much younger man wants to take her down and dust her off. Honey is on the verge of her first 10” dick sighting but Richard is playing hard to get.

These eight women embark on sexual adventures that will change their lives forever. So slip under the covers, book in hand, glass of wine on your bedside table, partner or favourite close by and let them take you on their pleasure-filled journeys.