WHY I WILL REMAIN AN INDIE WRITER

First, let me admit that no one has ever offered me a publishing contract and probably never will!  However, I’ve been catching up with my reading, especially of my favourite romance authors and logged on to Mary Balogh’s website to see what’s new.  The last time I visited, aeons ago, the author had mentioned that she intended to write a book about Gwendoline, Lady Muir, a secondary character in the books of the Bedwyn series.  I was thrilled to learn that the manuscript was almost complete, but was totally flabbergasted when I read that the hardback would be available August, 2012!  It’s probably because I want to read the story so much, but for the first time the incredible length of time between the completion of a manuscript by the author and the time it takes to appear in print was brought home forcibly to me.

Mary’s books are flawlessly edited.  I can only recall just one tiny error, ‘blues eyes’, in the twenty or so books of hers which I’ve read; if there were more I was too engrossed to notice.  I know great care is taken in ensuring that her books are perfect, so I appreciate that the book can’t be available the day after she finishes writing it.  But surely by writing the book she’s done the hard part of the publishing process?  Why does the rest of it take so long?  It may be that there is a need to space the publication of her books—there are several planned in the interim—but call me impatient, I want to read that book now!

Mary also mentions on her website that one of my favourite books by her, A Summer to Remember, was almost not written because a previous editor didn’t like the heroine of the book.  I’m even more flabbergasted by this fact!  An editor deciding what I can and can’t write!  We would have come to blows for that.  Another favourite of mine, A Precious Jewel, almost didn’t get written, but this time because it was unlike the traditional Regency romances being written at the time.  Luckily, the story compelled Mary to write it and thank God she gave in to that inner voice because it’s a wonderful book.

So, I will remain an independent author.  Traditional publishing is too long-winded a process for an impatient person like me.  I was a disobedient child and I’m no better as an adult—I could not have anyone tell me what to write.  I go with my instincts and never worry about how unpopular my choices are.  None of these attributes makes me a good candidate for a three- or five-book deal from a traditional publisher, so it’s safe to say that we will avoid each other like the plague.

THE HIGHS AND LOWS OF A WRITING CAREER

As of this morning I’ve sold 30,627 Kindle books since 29^th August, 2010.  My Bedtime Erotica collections make up eighty-eight percent of those sales with 26,877 copies sold, while my first romance novel, Soca Nights, makes up five percent with 1584 copies sold.  These figures are far beyond my expectations and I still have to pinch myself to ensure that I’m not dreaming.

But I’ve learned some surprising lessons this past year—the most surprising is the realization that many writers of other genres don’t consider writers of erotica to be ‘real’ writers.  Writers’ forums are great places to gather information, but they are not places to air your views unless you’re one of the popular people.  It’s a bizarre experience posting a response in a thread, only to have the next person ignore your post completely and respond to, or quote, the person above you.  I’m an introvert and have made lurking an art form since I published my first book in 2005.  This year I made an effort to join debates and to share the knowledge I’ve gained on my six-year publishing journey.  The reception I received in forums was lacklustre at best, so in future I plan to lurk to my heart’s content and only offer congratulations and commiserations when due since there are enough writers willing to voice their opinions for me ever to feel the need to voice mine.

This year’s reviews have been eye-openers, too.  Some clearly showed that I had made the desired connection with the readers while others forced me to look at my work more critically from a reader’s point of view.  Though most were informative there were a few which seemed placed on my books’ pages to thrash them while promoting other books.  I ignored these because I can tell when a reviewer has read my book, so if he/she is simply quoting from another review then the expressed opinion is irrelevant and of no use to me.

    

Every creative writing class I’ve taken has focussed on character development and the importance of creating characters who are dissimilar to you as a writer.  I try to portray real characters whose thoughts and actions rarely reflect mine.  Yet, one reviewer seemed to think that she knew me intimately just from reading one of my books.  She has absolutely no idea who the hell I am, or what I do or don’t do in bed and with whom!  My relatives and close friends found her review ridiculous and most felt that I should have written a rebuttal, but if the thoughts expressed are genuine reflections of what she felt after reading my book then perhaps I’m a better writer than I give myself credit for.

Another reviewer was less than complimentary about my short story, Perfect Score, in which the heroine gets her own back eventually.  The reviewer didn’t finish reading the story and accused me of calling the fuller-figured heroine ‘fat and ugly’, but anyone who reads and understands the story knows that it’s first told from the male protagonist’s point of view and then switches to the female’s.  The contrasting points of view are the main feature of the story, so unless the story is read in its entirety the essence is lost to the reader.  In the planned revisions of my collections I may rework this story.

Great sales, good and bad reviews, and personal attacks—part and parcel of the joys of being a writer.  As the saying goes, ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’

MY WHOHUB INTERVIEW

I was thinking of doing a ‘super’ blog post, but this interview which I did for Whohub pretty much sums up everything about me in a nutshell.

What did you first read? How did you begin to write? Who were the first to read what you wrote?

I don’t recall reading my first book, but I have fond memories of reading the entire series of Famous Five, Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys when I was little. Then I discovered Mills & Boon at about the age of nine and literally fell in love with them. I still read M&B romances occasionally but only Historical Romance, since Tender Romance has now become like Modern Romance – all about arrogant, foreign billionaires, beautiful English virgins and storylines so similar that I once read four new Modern Romances one after the other and couldn’t remember a single story when I’d finished them.

While at school I loved English Literature but didn’t particularly like English Language. I managed to get good grades, especially for my short stories, but had no aspirations of being a writer. Then about five years ago my older sister told me about a publisher who was looking for short stories of erotica by women of colour. The only erotic story I had written up until then was one page long and written purely for my own gratification. I decided to try writing another story and it was like a dam bursting open. In no time I had written seven stories and was thinking more in terms of publishing my own book rather than have my stories included in an anthology.

My younger sister was the first to read my writing. She read a few paragraphs aloud in a heavily-accented voice and had me rolling on the floor, dying of laughter. But eventually she read it objectively and gave me her opinion. I love the fact that we are close enough for her to be brutally frank with me.

What is your favourite genre? Can you provide a link to a site where we can read some of your work or learn something about it?

Romance is my favourite genre, but I find it harder to write than erotica. I immediately pulled my romance novel Soca Nights off the shelves when I published it in Aug’08 because I wasn’t happy when I read it in print. It is yet to be re-released. Some lucky (or perhaps unlucky) reader managed to buy one copy before I pulled it, so she (it’s unlikely to have been a man) will have one of only five printed copied of that edition of the book. I had no such problems with my erotica. Though they have been re-edited and are all due for future editing, I am quite happy for them to be sold as they are.

Feel free to visit my website to read complete stories from each of my three books of erotica at www.lexyharper.com/

What is your creative process like? What happens before sitting down to write?

I dream up stories in my head on my way to work, at the office, during my lunch break and on my way home and then type them up as complete stories or as bullet points depending on my mood.

Nothing specific has to happen before I start, but I prefer to have everything in order so that there are no distractions. Once my computer is booted up I usually play several games of Spider Solitaire before I begin typing.

What voice do you find most to your liking: first person or third person?

I find books written in third person generally more palatable, but good writing in first person can be more compelling. I wouldn’t write an entire novel in first person, but occasionally a character will insist on writing her own story like my character, Honey, in Telephone Sex. Like Marmite, you either love her or hate her.

What well known writers do you admire most?

I am in awe of Toni Morrison, Arundhati Roy and Zora Neale Hurston. I like happy endings so I don’t read many literary books, but Beloved is my favourite book of all time, followed very closely by both God of Small Things and Their Eyes Were Watching God.

Deep down inside, who do you write for?

Ultimately I write for myself. I write books that I want to read and hope that I will always stay true to this simple philosophy.

Does reader feed-back help you?

The first person to read my book and give me feedback is someone who has become very dear to me, my friend Tania Leigh. She bought and read the first badly-edited edition of my book and sent me an email telling me that she had enjoyed it. I’m still astonished that she was able to finish it because she is a gifted poet and a budding writer herself. For her to have been able to see past the errors to the essence of what I was trying to say is truly remarkable. Kisses, Tania!

Generally, if feedback is constructive I take it on board, but I never take criticism to heart. For example, readers complained that I used Italics too liberally in the black and white editions of my books. Fair point – when I published the colour editions I edited the majority of them out. On the other hand, I ignored comments about the books being too raw, though there are days when even I think they are. I have no doubt that the next editions will be tamer, but for now I will leave them as they are.

Do you participate in competitions? Have you received any awards?

I entered one competition and didn't win. On re-reading the story months later I realized that I had rushed the ending after spending weeks creating a dramatic opening.

Do you share rough drafts of your writings with someone whose opinion you trust?

I once showed a rough draft of an erotic short story to two of my friends. One was scandalized and the other not scandalized enough; neither gave me feedback that I could use. My sister categorically refuses to read an incomplete story, so I finish my manuscripts before she reads them and make changes where necessary.

What discipline do you impose on yourself regarding schedules, goals, etc.?

I don't have an agent or publisher to satisfy, so I try to write only when I'm in the mood.

What is your process?

I’m lazy, so I lie in bed and write on my laptop. I no longer print my work. I do all corrections on the screen, proofing with text-to-speech software. This method is by no means foolproof, but it’s cheaper than paying for professional editing and I’m reasonably satisfied with the results.

What sites do you frequent on-line to share experiences or information?

I have a full-time job, so I don’t have as much time as I would like for networking. I update my website periodically and occasionally send snippets to my Twitter account. I seldom log on to my MySpace page and even less rarely to Facebook. But networking is essential and I find that my sales dip significantly when I haven’t networked for several months.

What has been your experience with publishers?

I did extensive research and decided to self-publish my books because I wanted to remain anonymous, but largely because I suspected that no publisher would have me!

I received 50 free books delivered to my address in the UK free of cost as part of the US$499 self-publishing deal for my first book Bedtime Erotica. This was not the cheapest deal on the market at the time but I reasoned that I could sell the books and recoup some of the money invested, or give them to friends and family instead of buying birthday and Christmas gifts for the next ten years or so.

By the time the book was published and ready for the market I had already written the seven stories that would make up my next book. Though Bedtime Erotica was selling faster than I had imagined (research showed many self-published books sell less than 100 copies), I waited until the royalties surpassed my initial outlay before publishing the second. I then re-released my first book, giving it a cover more appropriate to the content and correcting a few embarrassing spelling and grammatical errors.

Self-publishing is often confused with vanity publishing, but though they share traits they are quite distinct things. Yes, I had to pay upfront and stood to lose the entire sum if I had never sold a copy. But having the 50 free copies made the deal worth while for me since it wasn’t a sum beyond my means as I had a full-time job. And the joy I felt when I held the first copy of my book in my hand is indescribable - a moment I will always treasure.

The cheapest vanity publishing deal I found in the UK at the time was for the equivalent of USD$3000 - $7500 (GBP £2000 - £5000) to print between 1000 – 2500 copies of my book. This sum was more than I was prepared to pay and I had no way of offloading the books other than lugging them from bookstore to bookstore begging the owners to take a few copies. In contrast, my self-published books were sold by Amazon.com (but sadly not by Amazon.co.uk) and printed only on demand.

There was even a scheme called Talent Acquisition (or something similar), run by the publishers which was a way for self-published writers to gain the attention of mainstream publishers. I enrolled in the scheme, but opted out soon afterwards when there were no calls from eager publishers offering me that magic six-figure deal.

To date I have not been acquisitioned or offered even a two-figure deal, but I have made a tidy little sum and have kept the rights to my work. So, if you have a real burning desire to be published and feel that you have something you want to share with the world, potentially at your own cost, self-publishing is an option you should consider.

What are you working on now?

I’m working on my romance novels at the moment. I plan to publish seven romance novels by the end of 2010…if I could just get started!

PS. As you can see I’m really, really lazy!  I should have had seven romance novels out by the end of last year – in reality I’m yet to publish the second one.  Bad Lexy!

I HAVE GROWN A THICKER SKIN

I published the first edition of Bedtime Erotica on 12th December, 2005. A lifetime ago, and yet in some ways it feels like it was yesterday. I still remember the excitement of holding the advance copy of my book in my hand and the feeling of satisfaction that swept through me. I was finally a writer. A self-published writer, but a writer nevertheless!

A few bad reviews soon burst my bubble of euphoria. I found myself focussing on them, instead of the larger number of positive reviews. I knew the book had flaws; I was already working on an updated version, but it was tough to receive reviews which gave no credit for my storytelling.

Today I'm so much stronger! I embrace all reviews, accepting whatever praise or criticism they offer. I've learned the most from some of my bad reviews, but I simply ignore the ones which seem written of out sheer spite. I know my value as a writer and I know that there are fans out there who get my particular style of writing. I don't ever expect to appear on a bestseller list, but I've sold 24859 Kindle books since Sep'10 and 8086 paperbacks to date. I'm not about to stop writing because of a bad review or three.

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

It seems everything.  I read this blog post: 'What's in a Name?' by the lovely Liane Spicer months ago about the power of name.  Now, I acknowledge that power too, but in a different way.  My sexy, intelligent, too-good-looking-for-his-own-good first love, Oliver, died tragically young.  I don't write fiction about my life or anyone else’s because it inhibits my writing, but I thought I would name the male protagonist in Envy after him, in remembrance.

The story is not autobiographical (I would have beaten any woman who messed with him...just kidding!), but perhaps using his name is inhibiting me in some way.  Maybe because I know that he was the bees' knees and so hot he sizzled, I’m not doing enough to convey this character's stellar qualities to reader—his gentleness, his drop-dead gorgeousness, his to-kill-for hotness.  Maybe I should rewrite the story and call him Paul or Simon.  Maybe.

ENVY - REVISED

I have revised Envy and it is once again available for sale in Kindle format. If you had bought the previous version and would like it replaced by the new version, please log on to your Amazon account and go to the ‘Manage Your Kindle’ page. From ‘Actions’ select ‘Deliver To’ and the new version will be sent to your device, replacing the old version at no extra cost to you.

I hope I have made the story clearer and given the characters a little more depth. The novella is meant to be slightly improbable and totally wacky – a warning to any woman who covets another’s man and is prepared to steal him at any cost. Some readers may find it too far fetched and others may seek to pin it to a particular genre. It does not quite conform to any one writing form – it is a ghostly, but not scary, erotic romance – a crazy idea I had which I put down on paper, or more precisely typed on my laptop.

I want to thank everyone who read the previous version and gave feedback. It made me realize that although I did not want the story to turn into a full-length novel, I needed to give a bit more backstory to enable readers to understand each character’s motivation. I hope I have done enough to engage their interest and would love to hear any further thoughts and comments. Happy reading!

ENVY

Sometimes as a writer you have a story written in your head and you forget that readers are not psychic and therefore can’t read your thoughts.  This was the case with my latest release Envy.  Usually, I run the finished manuscript pass my younger sister and she tells me what works and what doesn’t.  We don’t always agree on all aspects of the story, but she is usually able to pinpoints areas when my writing is not clear or simple errors e.g. when I’ve used the wrong character’s name.

We have both been busy recently, so I published Envy without her input.  This weekend she was finally able to read it and basically told me that the story didn’t convince her.  She liked the concept but thought the execution was poor.  Another friend also liked the story but pointed out areas where it could be improved.  The story got 2 three-star reviews on Goodreads, which is quite generous now when I look at the story with fresh eyes.

All writers love 5-star reviews and I’m no exception, but I have found that my biggest growth as a writer has come from less flattering, honest reviews. I’m going to re-work the story and I hope that anyone who bought the Kindle eBook previously will take the time to download the new version and let me know if the new version is an improvement.  In the meanwhile, feel free to download a PDF copy of the old version from my website and let me know what you think.  I will take all comments into consideration because my role as a writer is to entertain readers, to transport them to another world while they read my books.

I appreciate feedback, good and bad, thanks.

FREE PDF COPIES

I've decided to make every Friday during the month of April, 2011, a Free eBook Friday on my website.  Today I'm giving away free PDF copies of Bedtime Erotica for Freaks (like me).  Next Friday it will be Bedtime Erotica for Men and Soca Nights the following two Fridays.  If you missed your chance to grab a copy of Bedtime Erotica for Freaks (like me), you'll have another chance on the 29th.

Enjoy these freebies with my pleasure, but I would appreciate reviews on Amazon, Barnes & Noble or Goodreads mentioning that it was a free copy, if necessary. Thank you, Lexy xxxx

NETWORKING

Writing can be a lonely busines, but for years I kept myself pretty much to myself because I read posts on networking sites and discovered that writers have very strong views and seldom keep them to themselves.

I read JA Konrath's blog post: Depression and Writers and was incredibly moved by Kiana Davenport's story. She is talented writer who has literally found a new lease of life through self publishing. Her book, House of Skin, went from being #134,555 at the time of Joe's first post to being #182 when I last checked. I found this story heartwarming and a little scary, because we hear all the time of writers committing suicide and as a writer you hope to never find yourself in that position.

What shocked me though was the cynicism among a few of my fellow writers. Some of them accused Joe of having ulterior motives, of deliberately posting this blog on the day that Amanda Hocking's four-book deal was agreed with St Martin's and a whole host of other things. Some have even said that Kiana would have committed suicide if she really wanted to and seem to have no sympathy for her. I suspect some of them are peeved that she is obviously a great writer and now that she has been made visible, she will no doubt be able to hold her own easily.

I'm absolutely thrilled for Amanda. She has always said that she wanted a traditional publishing deal and I'm sure she was able to negotiate the terms she wanted. Joe has been an advocate of self publishing and a lot of people seem to think that he will be upset with Amanda. I don't know why because, unless I missed it, he has never said that a writer should not take a publishing deal. It has alway been about the size of the deal and if it is the right one for you. Amanda is keeping the rights to all her current books which will continue to make her bundles of money. Yes, she is taking a risk, but it is a carefully calculated risk. I have no doubt that she will come up smelling of roses.

So, all I can say is, Stephenie and JK make way, Amanda is coming to join you at the top!

THIRD POST IN THREE WEEKS ABOUT REVIEWS

I always comment about the lack of reader reviews for my books, but for the third week running I've had a review and they were all for different books. I was very pleased with the 4-star review for Soca Nights. The 1-star review for Naughty Professor was undeserved, I thought, but as I said in my previous post: 'a bad review can be a good thing'. Naughty Professor has been selling much better since that bad review because readers love a bit of sleaze.

Bedtime Erotica for Freaks (like me) received its fourth consecutive 5-star review this week, but the reviewer then deleted it because I inadvertently pissed him off afterwards. He had sent me an email saying that he had enjoyed the book and I asked him to leave a review. I get dozens of similar emails for readers who buy my books, visit my website or read my stories on Literotica and I never ask for reviews, but this reader was one of the few people who 'got' the concept of the book - straight sex, no fancy frills.

He had written an excellent review, so I wasn't thrilled when it was removed, but it was good to be reminded that I had vowed to never actively seek endorsement from readers or fellow writers.

When I first published my books I had the opportunity to have bestselling authors write reviews of my books for an agreed sum and I declined. There are also lots of writers who exchange reviews, but I have never participated because, if I read another writer's work and didn't like it I would hate to have to lie in a review. Similarly, I would hate to make a fellow writer lie in a review of my book. If I was really desperate I could have had dozens of friends and family write 5-star reviews, but I would never stoop that low!

Reviews are good at giving potential readers different perspectives of a book, but don't necessarily guarantee sales. Personally, I never take any review to heart because I've done a few creative writing courses and read enough literary works to be aware of my strengths and weaknesses as a writer. I deliberately choose to write in a style that's uniquely mine; readers either love it or they don't.

Hopefully this be my last post on reviews, but let's see what next week brings.

A BAD REVIEW CAN BE A GOOD THING!

Two days ago a reader gave me a 1-star review for Naughty Professor which is currently priced at $0.99/£0.62 and it confirmed my thoughts on low-priced eBooks. It seems that readers rarely take the time to read descriptions or download samples of cheap eBooks before purchasing, simply because they are so cheap.

There is enough information in the Book Description for readers to see what they are getting beforehand. A professor seducing his students is morally wrong and I don't agree with it in real life, though it happens! But, this is fantasy and pretty much anything goes, as long as everyone is over the age of consent.

But it seems as though people rather like the idea of young women and a young man being being seduced by a dirty older man; Naughty Professor had its best days of sales following the review.

However, I've never been one to run from a challenge, so I'm giving readers who like this sort of kinky story a chance to read it for free on my website. Please just do me a favour and email me or leave a comment, good or bad, if you read Naughty Professor.

PAPERBACKS

I love paperbacks and worry about their future, but having looked at my paperback sales over the last five years, I have come to the painful decision that I cannot publish any new paperbacks until I see a drastic improvement in these figures.

Formatting a book for paperback publishing takes precision and a lot of patience. It’s also not a cheap process, especially if it requires correcting proofs and tweaking covers until you get the desired effect. I have currently reduced all three of my paperbacks to the very minimum price I can offer them, and still they are not flying off the shelves. In contrast, my Kindle book sales are going from strength to strength and will soon eclipse my total paperback sales of all time.

Kindle publishing is so much easier. New or corrected versions of eBooks can be uploaded overnight at no extra cost. Purchased eBooks can be downloaded in seconds, so readers get instant gratification. If the book is not as gratifying as hoped then readers can just as easily claim refunds.

I hate to leave my hard-line, dead-tree-reading friends and colleagues to join the high-tech electronic-reading brigade, but I have to say the more Kindle books I read, the more I embrace the concept. Although I worry vaguely that surely this can’t be good for the eyes!

SOCA NIGHTS

I received the first, and rather sweet, review of Soca Nights last week and it had quite an effect on me. I had lowered the price mainly for Valentine’s Day, but partly also to see if there was enough interest in the book to justify publishing it in paperback.

The lower price prompted a flurry of purchases which thrilled me, but now I’m must choose between reverting the eBook to its original price, selling less copies but earning more royalties, or leaving it at the lowered price and tempting new readers who would not perhaps try my work otherwise.

I’ve decided to leave it at the lowered price because, although every cent/penny I earn takes me nearer to my dream of being a full-time writer, I write primarily for readers to enjoy. So, if I can entice more of them at the lower price then I want to continue doing so for the foreseeable future.

However, my erotica will stay at the higher price. Readers generally buy cheap eBooks without downloading samples first. This is perfect for Soca Nights as I know they will be very satisfied.  My erotica, on the other hand, is not for everyone. I want potential buyers to put much more thought into the purchasing of these books. I want them to download samples or visit my website to read more of my writing before making their decisions. As I’ve always said, I would much rather lose a potential sale than gain a dissatisfied customer.

WRITING

Writing is a compulsion I’ve tried to stifle all my life because it consumes me totally. When I’m writing I forget time, place and other people – thankfully I have no dependents. I sometimes crave a sunny, uninhabited island where I could be alone with my thoughts and a solar-powered laptop. But I would probably go quietly insane or develop a severe case of RSI as my thoughts come faster than I can type when I give them free reign. I would be like a woman possessed trying to capture them all before they slipped away.

I yearn for the day when I have earned enough royalties to safely give up my day job, but I fear it equally. With nothing to stop me daydreaming I might lose touch with reality and become a part of my creations if I’m not constantly pulled back into reality by other obligations.

But I have taken several mini career breaks in the last seven years and they have been more glorious than anything I could have imagined. To have a chance to write freely without thinking of getting up for work the next day was sublime. I would love to take another breakright now, but it would defeat my long-term plans. I’m trying hard to be disciplined, to be patient and wait until the time is right, but it’s so hard!

COMBINED BEDTIME EROTICA?

I’ve been toying with the idea of combining all three books in the Bedtime Erotica series into a massive Kindle book titled The Bedtime Erotica Trilogy.

Or, selecting my favourite stories from the three collections (a tough choice because they are my babies and I love them all) and compiling them into one volume titled The Best of Bedtime Erotica. Singers do this all the time, why not writers?

Or perhaps even re-editing all the stories and publishing cleaner versions of the books for Kindle, if not in paperback. I wrote these stories five years ago when I was new to writing erotica and thought the more graphic the sex, the better. I’m older and wiser now and though I still love the stories and re-read them often (I hope I’m not the only writer who does this!) I can see that perhaps a more subtle approach could be applied. It’s a tough decision because many of my fans love the books just the way they are and I still laugh my head off at the funny parts and get turned on by the sex scenes. But as I edit the second of my eight romance manuscripts, I’m beginning to see ways of enhancing my erotica.

Of course, any reader purchasing a book with a title Bedtime Erotica for Freaks (like me) will not necessarily be expecting subtlety! So I’m caught on the horns of a dilemma: do I leave well alone or do I fix what doesn’t appear to be broken?

SHEMALE - CAMILLA DE CASTRO

Years ago I watched a short, free movie which featured the late shemale, Camilla De Castro and found it very erotic. I'm seldom aroused by porn, but she and her male partner made love to each other in the most sensual way.  It's such a shame that she was driven to suicide at such a young age, she must be sadly missed. She was indeed a 'goddess' and must have been quite a temptation for straight guys.

I'm writing a series Jo, Shemale Goddess! which is inspired by Camilla.  Read the first two The Last Reunion & The Virgin on my website.

Click here to see the movie. I had to change the link because the movie was deleted from xHamster.  This version isn't as good, but still well worth watching.

You may also like my Kindle short story, Naughty Professor.  Buy it on Amazon UK for £0.71 or US for $1.14, both prices include VAT.

KINDLE SALES

I seem to be reaching more readers now that I've published my books on Kindle.  I'm not sure if it's an indication that Kindle is being used more widely than I'd imagined, or if readers are simply more willing to buy an eBook for $2.99 rather than a paperback for $9.99.

In terms of royalties there is not a huge difference between a Kindle sale and a paperback sale for me as a writer.  Printing and distribution costs pretty much make up the bulk of the price of my books.  And by buying books for Kindle instead of paperbacks readers are helping the planet.  I'll have to see how things go, but I may decide in the future to publish Kindle books only.  Although, I'm still trying to get used to my Kindle.  It's fine for when I'm out and about, but when I'm indoors I still like to curl up in bed or a chair with a paperback or hardcover book.

EROTIC OR PORNOGRAPHIC?

My erotica is often accused of being is pornographic. In my defence I hadn’t meant it to be! After penning my first story, Double the Trouble, I gave it to a friend to read who told me that it was too tame to be called ‘erotica’. Discouraged, I gave up on the idea until I picked up a Mills and Boon Blaze and realized just how far romance had pushed into erotic territory. In the novel the word ‘cock’ was used (and not in reference to a male bird) and the heroine had a finger inserted into her bottom as part of foreplay leading up to intercourse. Scandalous!

So, I assumed since romance had become so erotic, it stood to reason that erotica must have become more pornographic! Or so my crazy logic told me at the time. Applying this theory I threw myself into writing not one but three collections of short stories—the most fun I’ve ever had! I’m proud of these stories. I still read and enjoy them, but sometimes even I blush at the in-your-face sex scenes.

I wrote these stories in 2005 & 2006, but I wouldn’t write them today. I constantly fight the urge to take them out of circulation because some fans take them too seriously. They assume that I have had all the experiences and tried every sexual position. I constantly receive invitations for girl-on-girl fun, or to join couples for threesomes. My erotica comes purely from my filthy imagination. I’m far too private a person to reveal anything about my sex life to close friends, much less the world at large.

I never expected readers to hang on to my every word. The books were meant to be outrageous fun, to give readers a thrill, but never for them to emulate! I read all types of erotica including BDSM, but I never get the urge to wear leather, tie a man up and beat him or walk all over him in stilettos. Similarly I read murder mysteries and never feel like killing anyone. Well, anyone except my boyfriend, but that’s a different matter.

The next editions of these books will definitely be cleaner and come with the warning: Explicit Sex Scenes Deleted!

REVIEWS

I’m still a little disappointed at the lack of reviews my books get. It might be that the books are neither brilliant nor terrible enough to warrant strong reactions, but it would be satisfying if readers gave their opinions more often. I know many readers use their real names for reviews and perhaps don’t want to admit to reading my works. I totally respect their need for privacy in that case, but if there are no compelling reasons I would appreciate them taking the time to write a few lines and give an appropriate starred rating.

A horrible thought just struck me: is it because the option they would choose, zero stars, if not available? I’ve had a few reviewers who have said words to that effect, but thankfully not many. And almost all my negative reviews were to do with me using Italics (couldn't resist pressing Ctrl+I for old time sake) a little too liberally in my first editions. A filthy habit for which I’ve been successfully treated, except for rare lapses, like a moment ago. It’s been three years and counting. Ha-ha!

I consider my books works-in-progress and rely on feedback to improve future editions. So, please, please, email me: Lexyharper@aol.com even if you don’t want to write a review on Amazon, Barnes & Noble or any other website.

MY FIVE-YEAR SELF-PUBLISHING JOURNEY

I’m an introvert and nothing makes me happier than being alone, weaving stories from my imagination. I secretly longed to be a writer all my life, but never really wanted an agent, a publisher and the publicity that go with being a writer. I couldn’t see a way of getting over these stumbling blocks until I considered self publishing.

I did tons of research before publishing my first book Bedtime Erotica mid December’05 at the cost of US $499. This wasn’t the cheapest deal going at the time, but it included 50 free books which were delivered free of cost to my home address in the UK. But more importantly the deal included free distribution on Amazon US. All research showed that I would be lucky to recoup my investment, but the joy I felt when I received my advance copy was worth every cent. I held the book in my hand and thought in awe, I wrote this! That moment remains one of the most glorious of my life.

But I wasn’t totally happy with the finished manuscript. Although I thought I had caught them all, I discovered several spelling and grammatical errors while going through the proof copy. I paid a rather hefty (in comparison) fee of US $50 to correct ten of the worst errors. Only six were corrected and more alarmingly two new ones were inadvertently introduced. Resigned I approved the ‘corrected’ proof for publication.

As predicted, sales were very slow. It didn’t help that I had used a pseudonym and didn’t promote the book. But finally after nine months my royalties totalled US $564.83. I had recouped my capital with a little spare change. I had already finished Bedtime Erotica for Freaks (like me), but I decided to wait until I had earned the money to pay for publishing it, rather than re-use my capital. Over the next two months I made US $517.50. It cost the same sum to publish the second book, but this time the deal included only 20 free books.

Sales grew exponentially from that point and things began to look rather good. Then Amazon changed the way customers searched for items from ‘Search Suggestions’ to ‘Tags’ in Aug’07. My book sales immediately plummeted by 56% and continued their downward slide for years. Things picked up again in August’08 when I published new colour editions of the three books, but they have never matched that period at the beginning of 2007. I published the books on Kindle at the end of August’10 and so far sales have exceeded my expectations, though I’m not selling the crazy numbers that some other authors are.

I may never achieve my lifelong ambition of being a full-time writer, but I don’t regret a moment of my journey. I have learned things that I would have never known otherwise and have a stronger sense of myself. I hope the next five years will be less frustrating and more financially rewarding than the first, but even if they are not, I can be proud of the fact that I did something I desperately wanted to do and did it all my way!

BOOK TAGGING

I’ve generally avoided author forums and networking sites, but at Christmas I decided to join Kindleboards and three author book tagging groups. It has made me revise my estimation of writers as a whole. I’d always thought of writers as a breed apart, honourable people who wrote mainly because they had something they wanted to share with the world. However, with the advent of successful authors like Dan Brown, J K Rowling, Stephenie Meyer and Stieg Larsson there has been an immergence of authors who write purely for money and fame.

Some authors genuinely share sales information to encourage other self-published authors, like J A Konrath and Selena Kitt, to name two, but there are others who just show off their sales figures and give daily updates of their Amazon Sales Rank to brag and increase their own self importance.

Tagging is a simple, straightforward concept: you tag an author’s book(s) and he/she tags yours. Tags increase a book’s visibility, but they don’t guarantee sales. However, authors who join tagging groups should honourably engage in reciprocal tagging. Most members of the group do, but there are a few unscrupulous authors who literally drop their books off for tags and don't tag anyone else. I believe strongly in karma: we get back what we put into this world, so let these non-tagging authors enjoy themselves. I see their machinations and can only feel pity for people who are so dishonourable and sneakily competitive they don’t want anyone but themselves to excel.

EXCERPT - SOCA NIGHTS

Belatedly he wished that he had booked a ticket to Guyana instead. The air hostess’s lilting Trinidadian accent reminded him of his mother’s Guyanese intonation and filled him with longing and nostalgia. But, he reminded himself ruefully, he was thirty-two, not two. His mother couldn’t kiss his hurt better like she had done when he was a little boy.

At the thought of hurt, an image of Dawn, his wife of seven years, surfaced behind his eyelids: her beautiful heart-shaped face framed by long dark brown hair; her shy long-lashed eyes; her sweet smile that could erase the tiredness from his body at the end of a long hard day; her petite, compact body with its narrow waist that he could almost span with his hands; her soft skin and her small firm breasts with prominent nipples she had always taken great care to conceal under clothing.

He had never told her that he’d stole occasional glimpses of their entwined bodies in the mirror of their built-in wardrobe as they made love. She would have been mortified if she had known. Those glimpses had heightened his arousal. Their cocoa-brown skin tones were so closely matched it was impossible to tell where she ended and he began, except for his harder, muscular frame contrasting with her smoother, softer contours. The sight of her slim body pressed against his had been so unbearably erotic.…

Abruptly his image was superimposed in his mind’s eye by one of rippling dark chocolate.

Damn you, Anthony! He silently cursed his best friend for the thousandth time in days, filled once again with the all-consuming rage that was bubbling beneath the surface of his tight-lipped exterior.

“Are you okay?” The softly whispered inquiry from the female passenger across the gangway to his left brought Kevin back to the present.

Curbing his annoyance, he opened his eyes, turned his head and looked into her worried dark gaze. Forcing himself to relax, he assured her, “I’m fine, thank you.”

“It was probably just a patch of turbulence,” she comforted, reaching over to stroke his hand which was clutching the armrest in a vicelike grip.

Turbulence? He had been so caught up in his own thoughts that he had been unaware of anything else, his inner turmoil greater than whatever the plane had encountered.

Her caressing hand was slim, long-fingered, soft and soothing. Kevin took an audible breath, slackened his grip on the armrests and released the last remnants of the fury that had engulfed him.

The woman and her male companion had been among the last passengers to board the flight. The tall, debonair, light-complexioned man was clearly twice the age of the stunning, dark-skinned diva.

And 'diva' she seemed to be. Soon after takeoff an air hostess had brought her two extra blankets, although she was wearing a woollen hat, thick jumper, baggy jeans and the pair of socks she had pulled on immediately after kicking off her red, high-heeled pumps.

As the man had tucked the blankets around her, Kevin had noticed the thick gold band on his wedding finger. The only ring she wore was an intricately designed silver ring on her left thumb.

The man had pulled out official-looking documents embossed with the Barbadian coat-of-arms from a briefcase and perused them for an hour or two before putting them away. He had then ensured that the blankets were still tightly wrapped around the young woman who, as soon as the man had tucked her in, had snuggled her head onto his shoulder, as if her head was too heavy for her poor neck to carry, and fallen asleep. Assured that his little darling was comfortable, the man had leaned back against the headrest of his seat, his head touching the top of hers and fallen asleep himself.

Kevin had shaken his head in disapproval, praying that as he advanced in age that his brain wouldn’t become addled enough for him to date a woman decades his junior. For him, there was nothing more pathetic than an older man trying to retain or regain his youth by dating a woman young enough to be his daughter. It was obvious that the man had been on a business trip. He had probably been too afraid to leave his nubile mistress alone for more than a day. She looked like the type to play while he was away.

Now she had awoken and was caressing the back of Kevin’s hand, looking at him as if she wanted to induct him into the Mile-High Club while the old fool was sleeping.

“Thanks for your concern. I’m fine.” Kevin smiled frigidly, pointedly moving his hand away from her seductive stroking.

She hastily removed her hand, snuggled her head back against the older man’s broad shoulder and closed her eyes without saying another word.

Yes, Ms Gold Digger, get back to your sugar daddy!

***

Well, excuse me for giving a damn! Kimberley Collins felt like slapping herself as she snuggled back against her father and closed her eyes in embarrassment.

She had thought the man was having a heart attack the way he had been breathing rapidly, his broad chest moving up and down in agitation, beads of perspiration popping out on his forehead, his hands gripping the armrests like his very life depended on it! Okay, maybe it hadn’t been that bad, but the man had been visibly distraught. Alright, if she hadn’t been constantly peering at him from under her lashes she might not have noticed his distress, but surely he couldn’t blame her for feasting her eyes when he insisted on looking so damned gorgeous. She had innocently reached across to offer comfort. It wasn’t her fault that his skin was firm and smooth, and felt so damned good under her fingers that she had kept stroking it longer than necessary.

Okay, she would admit that she might have gotten a little bit carried away. But damn, the man’s skin was deliciously strokeable! Taut, stretched firmly over the underlying muscles and so hot it warmed her chilled palm.

It was only as he had pulled his hand away that she had noticed the glaring line on his finger where he must have worn a wedding band until quite recently. In fact, the line was so glaring he had probably forgotten to put it back on after his shower that very morning!

He must think she was desperate!

Kimberley’s groan of mortification was thankfully muffled by her father’s sturdy shoulder.

***

I AM IN THE DICTIONARY.....LOL!!!

I'm quoted on page 477 of The Routledge Dictionary of Modern American Slang and Unconventional English (Hardcover) by Tom Dalzell (Editor)

hammer noun.
1. the penis US, 1967

They had lost all fear of his hammer. Earlier they had teased it mercilessly, using both pairs of hands to stroke the shaft while passing the head from one mouth to the other. Lexy Harper, Bedtime Erotica for Men, p.49, 2006.